As some of you may know, MySQLTuner is one of my favorite projects. It’s approaching the 1.0 release and I feel like celebrating. I thought about putting together some T-shirts (because as a nerd, I enjoy the occasional techy T-shirt), but I can’t come up with a good slogan.
I’ve heard of some pretty hilarious slogans for database-related activities, like “DBA’s know how to take dumps” and “don’t overflow my buffer”, but I’m trying to come up with some good ones for MySQLTuner. Whoever picks the slogan/joke that wins and goes on the shirt will get a free shirt from me. Yes, I did say free.
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I thought up a quick one:
MySQLTuner - how to optimize your cash / cache
I though of a few of them, which I don’t like at second though but thought of sharing (who knows what ideas it might bring):
MySQLTuner - Tunetastic
MySQLTuner - Instant performance gain
MySQLTuner - Just add a DBA
MySQLTuner - DBA Tuning
MySQLTuner - How much can you take?
I however do like:
MySQLTuner - show variables;
MySQLTuner - Raise performance, Lower emission
MySQLTuner - Almost as good as pizza/sex/coffee/…
MySQLTuner - Better than pizza/sex/coffee/…
MySQLTuner - Caffeïne Free
MySQLTuner - Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of RAM ? (with a blink to Bill Gate$)
With the same comment as CaliMonk
I’m a big fan of:
MySQLTuner - ready set…GET!
almost as important as a slogan is a MASCOT.
my suggestion is a cartoonish, pink squealing pig. get it? a good reference point is the uber-happy dancing pig that is part of a local BBQ restaurant’s logo (rhymes with Mill Biller) so…
MySQLtuner…. “It’ll make your SQL… SQUEAL!”
* Pimp my MySQL
* MySQLTuner: My Super Quality Leisure Tuner
* I Optimized My DB And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt
MySQLTuner: Dolphin Friendly Performance