Calling all creative types: I need a slogan

07.15.2008 | Author: major | Posted in Posts

As some of you may know, MySQLTuner is one of my favorite projects. It’s approaching the 1.0 release and I feel like celebrating. I thought about putting together some T-shirts (because as a nerd, I enjoy the occasional techy T-shirt), but I can’t come up with a good slogan.

I’ve heard of some pretty hilarious slogans for database-related activities, like “DBA’s know how to take dumps” and “don’t overflow my buffer”, but I’m trying to come up with some good ones for MySQLTuner. Whoever picks the slogan/joke that wins and goes on the shirt will get a free shirt from me. Yes, I did say free.

7 Responses

  1. pdufault July 15th, 2008 at 9:52 pm

    I thought up a quick one:

    MySQLTuner - how to optimize your cash / cache

  2. CaliMonk July 16th, 2008 at 2:47 am

    I though of a few of them, which I don’t like at second though but thought of sharing (who knows what ideas it might bring):


    MySQLTuner - Tunetastic
    MySQLTuner - Instant performance gain
    MySQLTuner - Just add a DBA
    MySQLTuner - DBA Tuning
    MySQLTuner - How much can you take?

    I however do like:


    MySQLTuner - show variables;

  3. Steven July 16th, 2008 at 4:41 am

    MySQLTuner - Raise performance, Lower emission
    MySQLTuner - Almost as good as pizza/sex/coffee/…
    MySQLTuner - Better than pizza/sex/coffee/…
    MySQLTuner - Caffeïne Free
    MySQLTuner - Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640k of RAM ? (with a blink to Bill Gate$)

    With the same comment as CaliMonk ;-)

  4. marksands July 18th, 2008 at 9:26 am

    I’m a big fan of:

    MySQLTuner - ready set…GET!

  5. hvarela July 24th, 2008 at 6:50 pm

    almost as important as a slogan is a MASCOT.

    my suggestion is a cartoonish, pink squealing pig. get it? a good reference point is the uber-happy dancing pig that is part of a local BBQ restaurant’s logo (rhymes with Mill Biller) so…

    MySQLtuner…. “It’ll make your SQL… SQUEAL!”

  6. Mojah July 29th, 2008 at 2:25 am

    * Pimp my MySQL
    * MySQLTuner: My Super Quality Leisure Tuner
    * I Optimized My DB And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

  7. muffinresearch July 30th, 2008 at 3:57 pm

    MySQLTuner: Dolphin Friendly Performance

Leave a Reply